Stop Coaching Women to ‘Lead Like a Man’
Originally published by Amy Diehl and Andrea Wojnicki for Fast Company
Sylvia was a senior partner at a consulting firm who decided to put her hat in the ring for the coveted CEO position. Four other internal applicants—all men—made it to the list of final candidates. Early in her campaign, Sylvia met with Andrea to talk about her strategy to win over the board and senior partners whose votes she would need to secure the CEO position. Sylvia deftly noted that, as the only woman in the running, her gender would be salient in the minds of the decision makers. As such, she wondered whether she should “lead like a man.”
Too often, women in the workplace are told, explicitly or implicitly, that success means emulating male norms. Speak up more. Interrupt more. Show less emotion. But when women follow this advice, they’re often penalized for it. The problem isn’t that women need to change. Rather, our definition of leadership needs to change as it is still stuck in a mold that rewards masculine traits and sidelines others.
Based on our respective experiences researching gender bias at work and coaching senior executives on their communication skills, as well as our personal experiences, we’ve seen this pattern play out again and again. Women are coached to overcome imposter syndrome and project authority in ways that often backfire. Meanwhile, organizations suffer, missing out on broader leadership styles, emotional intelligence, and more inclusive decision-making.